


Noiz's Dick Smasher

by leck



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Crack, Disney World, M/M, Sex, Tumblr, blowjob, noiao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:00:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leck/pseuds/leck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>noiz and aoba find a new ride at disney world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Noiz's Dick Smasher

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this post: http://brotoad.tumblr.com/post/69619663115/my-idea-for-a-new-disney-world-ride-please-signal

one crowded day in didsney world aober and da noise were holdin hands and looking around. a bunch of kids were in the park and they were bein sticky lil shits and their parents bought them merch as expensive as a speck of dust in platinum jail (which is p expensive). noiz was upset b/c the ppl who sew the mickey hats wouldn’t make him one that said “dickmaster” for aoba, who said he wouldn’t wear it EVER. bitch pls.

“oh look,” noiz said, pointing to the sound of people screaming. “it’s splash mountain.”

“no, for the last time, we’re not going to fuck on splash mountain.”

“u said no to space mountain, thunder mountain, it’s a small world, the aladdin carpet thing, and now splash mountain.”

“because didsney world is for CHILDREN! u stupid fuck!”

“fuck is a bad word and u used it so ur argument is irrelevant.”

“whatever. wanna ride it?”

“i wanna ride ur dick.”

“no u don’t i’m the bottom in our relationship duhhh. the world would implode if my dick landed inside of u.”

“tru,” noiz agreed. suddenly, he looked around and saw a sight he’d never seen before. “hey is that a new ride?”

“idk--NOIZU!” he took off, and b/c of the whole gay hand holding thing he was forced to trail along. in large black and red letters a sign read “MICKEY’S D*CK SMASHER”

“is this real?”

“it’s so fucking real.” the sign said “18 AND UP”. horrible screeching sounds came from the ride-goers.

“we’re not riding this noiz.”

“yes we are.”

“this looks dangerous.” he looked to the ride. the line wasn’t very long because who the fr*ck wanted to ride something that implied the smashing of man meat. he could see that a person stood in the center of two arched rails, with mickey cars smashing together at the vertex--aka the dick. well, he sure as hell wasn’t riding it. but maybe he could give noiz a blowjob in the bathroom if his dick hurt too much. “should i just ride u instead?”

“no i’m riding mickey’s dick smasher.” oooh aoba just got dickzoned. or mickeyzoned. not friendzoned because he and noiz were boifraynds.

soon noiz was next in line. he stood at the vertex and smiled cockily. (get it? COCKily?)

“i’m getting hard just thinking about this.”

“ur so fucking stupid.”

“no cussing at didsney world.”

“this ride is called mickey’s dick smasher.”

“truuu.” the cast member made the announcements that sounded way too cheery for a ride called mickey’s dick smasher. at the end they went “are you ready to SMASH YOUR DIIIIICKCKKK?” like a monster truck announcer person. noiz nodded excitedly while aoba facepalmed and prepared for the worst. at the end of this, there may not be a dick to suck. or ride. the pierced d could disappear forever.

“if ur dick dies i’m leaving u.” he then decided to add a risk factor into it. “for koujackoff.”

“u wouldn’t.”

“this is a dumb idea pls stop.”

“never. and u don’t have the balls to leave me for koujackass.” well the ride began to start. the mickey cars gained speed, and began to move faster and fasTER AND FASTER AND F A S T E R until--

the cars made a sudden screeching noise.  

“wtf?” they were an inch away from noiz’s dick on both sides.

“oh sorry,” the cast member said. “this ride is relatively new, so it keeps malfunctioning.”

“well shit,” noiz commented. “when will it reopen?”

“i’ll check.” they checked. “about 50 minutes.”

“fuck this. aobutt get outta here.” he dragged aoba out of there. aoba was secretly relieved the ride broke down.

“i can’t believe it broke down,” he pouted, like a little kid. “i WANTED to go on the RIDE!!”

“relax i’ll give u a bj if u stop throwing ur stupid tantrum.” noiz stopped and smiled at aoba.

**  
they fucked on the top of cinderella castle.**


End file.
